"How is my state of mind? Mostly rather unpleasant! My mind is cheerful in the hours, and when I'm working- apart from that I'm constantly haunted. Every now and then I'm deeply depressed and I'm bothering about two ideas until I'm completely lunatic, because of all my pondering and cogitating; and by no stretch of imagination I'm seeing any sense in our human being and life at all. In these very moments, everything seems to be so boring and dull, even preposterous and pointless, that I can't deal with myself. At this point I feel inside myself pathetically alone and abandoned by all human kind, and this is not amusing. Well, eventually I'm ending up with my work and I'm saving myself with my beloved acting; and finally I'm able to forget everything else.
But as I said, usually I'm not happy. It's not my fault having less fun in life in general, and I wouldn't bother doing that, if art doesn't exist. Now I'm concentrating on acting for Reinhardt, because I desperately want to be hired as an actress and I assume it would be great, if I couldn't do anything else, but working and doing my rehearsal, and if I would be generally part of the whole machinery.“"